A piece of writing from
MOTHER TRINIDAD DE LA SANTA MADRE IGLESIA,
from the 18th October, 1962. Title:
THE GREAT MOMENT OF THE CONSECRATION
Oh, if I were a priest…! Anointed, chosen and predestined to be, with Christ, a priest, a mediator who offers and who offers himself to the infinite Holiness, for the glory of that very eternal Holiness and for the salvation of the souls…!
Oh, if I were a priest…! This has been the dream which, during all my life, has totally filled my soul as a daughter of the Church, enamoured of the Most High and Eternal Priest.
Oh, if I would have had this great privilege…! If my soul would have received from God the incalculable gift of being a priest… If I would have heard on me these words: «You are a priest forever…». If the holy anointment would have poured over my poor being its most delicate aroma…
Oh…! A woman’s dreams…! Dreams that, raised up to the very bosom of the Trinity, today they make me cry aloud, as a hymn of desire, before the urgent, terrible and tremendous need which I experience in me of being a glorification for the Infinite One: Oh, if I were a priest…!
Now, even after so many years of spiritual life, of having immersed myself in the mystery of the Trinity, from there, before its exalted contemplation, my entire soul, in the terrible truth of the Divinity, feeling an urgent need to glorify God as purely and perfectly as it is able to, cries out: Oh, if I were a priest, and could take you into my anointed hands, so that I could offer you…!
Dreams of a woman who dreams things that cannot be…!
To give glory to God is like a perennial hymn, which flows from my soul-Church. To be all myself a glorification of infinite Love is the most terrible need that God has placed upon my poor being.
Oh, if I were a priest…! If I could celebrate my Mass…! If I was allowed to approach God’s altar and get into the Sancta Sanctorum of the divine mystery in my holy vestments, where the soul in love finds all its joy and its happiness, because in it the soul offers and offers itself giving itself to the Triune God in a total self-giving, to the Holy One who as a bloodless victim, gives God all honour and glory…!
If I were a priest and hold in my hands the white host to be consecrated for the glory of God and of all souls, all myself would place itself in the hands of the eternal Priest, so that He might use me according to his will; and I would return to the divine Gift as a gift of an unconditional surrender, as a victim that needs to be eaten to the perennial glory of the Trinity and the good of all men.
Oh…! At the time of the offering, of the donation, all my life in the hands of my eternal Priest, without fear, in a total self-giving to his loving will!; all my being on the paten, preparing itself for the consecration where, united with Christ, I would be, with Him, Christ who would give to the Father all honour and glory!
Oh moment of the offertory wherein I would say to divine Love amorous compliments, being a loving reply to his Gift, to that Gift which God, through me, would wish to communicate to all my souls…!
Oh, if I were a priest and I could offer to the Father my host and the chalice of salvation…! This would be the time of the self-giving to the infinite Love, and also the time to be received by the eternal Priest. «Receive, oh Holy Father, this Immaculate Host» and this chalice, and with it, receive all my being as a reply of love to your Gift.
If I were a priest and could say to Love: Receive, oh Father, your priest together with your Eternal and Most High Priest so that, being both one before your sublime, divine and subsistent majesty, they may raise before your altar the scent of frankincense and pleasing holocausts which may be, before You, a praise to your glory and for your glory…!
Oh, if I were a priest…! What amorous compliments for my Host, responding to the predilection of the Eternal One…! All my life would be a preparation for my Mass and a thanksgiving for it.
How my soul would vibrate at the approaching of that Great Moment of the Consecration…!, the great moment of my life…! Yes, this would be the great moment of my priestly life; the Moment of the Consecration, wherein the human creature, feeling raised to the priestly dignity, experiences that he is the chosen one, the anointed one, the confidant, and the one who has in his consecrated hands, by divine calling, the power to give God the greatest glory that can be given to Him in heaven and on earth.
Where are the angels so that they may give to God the glory which the priest of Christ gives to Him? Where is there a creature that can be raised up to that terrible dignity of being able to bring down the living God from the heavens? When could all the heavenly host be seen bowing to the ground, in surprising wait, worshipping this terrible moment, when you, priest, pronounce over this little piece of bread the words of consecration and of life, which make the very untouchable God run quickly, at your command, to get into that white host to be offered by you before the immensity of the divine Majesty?
When could you dream, oh man, that you, so tiny and imperfect, full of miseries, and even of sins, would be the one to have the whole heaven waiting for this moment, this great moment!, wherein the Father’s bosom opens up to give you his Word, the Word that you will hold in your hands, so that you may deal with him as you please? Little man, do you not die of fear before your great moment? Were you aware of this reality of the consecration?
Oh priest of Christ, father of my soul and my son…! If I were a priest and could hold in my consecrated hands the Word of Life and could say to Him all my amorous compliments, turning to his infinite Gift with my gift…! If I could have had the dignity of being able to handle the God of heaven, to achieve that, at my imperious voice, the entire heavenly host would have contemplated the infinite Majesty coming down to me…!
Oh priest of Christ, if my poor being would have ever found itself holding this white host in his hands, and could have pronounced over it the words that Christ Himself uttered the night of the Last Supper and which would have made the Infinite Holiness come down at my call, to be offered to the Father by me, as the supreme hymn of infinite praise to his glory…! If I could have been as much Christ as you, so that saying those divine words would have been enough to turn a little piece of bread into the Word of Life…!
Whence to you that, at your voice, the whole heaven prostrates itself and even God Himself obeys your command? Who are you and to what dignity the Almighty has raised you, so that you can say with the very rightly: «This is my Body»? Words placed by God in your mouth so that thus you may be able to get out, of the divine bosom of the Trinity, the Second Person and bring Him down to earth. When did you think about performing such a miracle that the bread and wine would become, at your sinner’s voice, the Body and Blood of the Incarnate Word?
Oh…! If I had been a priest, perhaps I would not have been able to celebrate more than one Mass. Perhaps, my tiny and imperfect soul would not have been able to do more, because my whole being would have come back to the Infinite One as a loving response to his Gift. And, to this transcendent gift made to your priestly soul, what answer can you give but your own life as an offering and a total destruction of the «I»?
If I had been a priest, perhaps there would have been for me only one Great Moment, because once passed, my soul would have gone beyond the limits of eternity. I do not know if my gift could have been less than the destruction of my being which, as a loving response, needed to reply to the Infinite One.
If I had been a priest and would have held the immaculate Host in my hands and I could have raised it up to show it to my brethren, oh, what amorous compliments…!, what a response…! All my soul, a kiss to kiss the Infinite One for humbling Himself to me! Prostrate and overwhelmed, how could one return to this terrible Gift that was given to me unconditionally…!
My whole priestly life would be an offering as a victim to the immaculate Victim, who was placing Himself in my hands to offer Himself to the Father, and at this very moment, the terrible moment of my life!, given my pettiness and the great mystery brought out by me, I would be an amorous compliment, a gift of surrender, an unceasing adoration as a response to his Gift.
Oh priest…! Avail yourself of your Host, love it, cherish it. Do not waste this terrible moment of the Consecration. Give yourself to the Infinite One without fear; place yourself in his hands, so that He may use you according to his will; be wholly yourself a «yes» to eternal Love who so unconditionally gives Himself to you. This is the great moment of your life, maybe the last one… Do you know if tomorrow you will consecrate your Host again? This is the great moment to respond to The Love with the gift of yourself!
Priest of Christ, in this terrible instant of the Consecration, be attentive!, make your faith wholly alive!, kindle your hope!, make your love firm, and contemplate in great silence, in a deep adoration… the bosom of the immutable Trinity, which in infinite activity is itself three Divine Persons, is about to open up any moment! And at this very instant, the Father is begetting the eternal Oriens with an ineffable modesty of eternal Virginity. […]
Silence…! Silence…! Silence…! For the Father is begetting his divine Word to give Him to you, priest of Christ…!
Silence…! Contemplate how, at this very instant, the Father’s bosom opens up in an eternal begetting of infinite love, and at that very sublime instant of untouchable virginity and of eternal holiness, the Father is begetting his Word for you…!, for you…! It is the response of the Father to your word as a priest, anointed to be before Him a mediator between heaven and earth.
Oh terrible words those uttered by the pri-est…! Priest of Christ, at the very moment when you say the words of consecration, the Father’s bosom opens up begetting his Word for you and gives Him to you in the love of the Holy Spirit. The whole Trinity bows to you, and because of your word, the Father responds with his infinite Word to your call, and as a gift, He gives you his Word, in the eternal love of the Holy Spirit! […]
Silence…! Adoration…!
The three Divine Persons are bowing to you…!
Oh […] the terrible moment of the Consecration…!; that instant-instant of ineffable respect…, of sovereign majesty…, of profound adoration…, wherein the whole Trinity is bowing to the little priest to give him its Gift.
The Father gives him his Word. The Holy Spirit gives Him to him in union with the Father, as a donation of love. The Word, quickly and joyfully, becomes Bread…
Oh, priest of the New Testament…! The whole infinite Trinity responds to your word, and bows favourably to you in order to give Itself to you. But the whole Trinity, in loving attitude, asks for your response to this great moment of its Gift! […]
I am seeing the Trinity in its sovereign majesty bowing to the priest, and him so tiny before the immense majesty of God’s terribleness…! When I see him, so unconscious, I pity him and feel a great need to help him.
Oh, priest of Christ, tiny before the great mystery of the Trinity…!
Oh, priest of Christ, how I see you…! But how tiny you are before this great mystery of the Holy Mass…!
Oh, priest of Christ…! Poor little thing…! So tiny, before the terrible terribility of the Trinity, in spite of your dignity being so sublime…!
Alas…! Poor little priest, my son and father of my soul…! But how small before the terrible terribility of the being Himself of the Being, that is given to you as a Gift and asks for your response…!
Poor little thing…! How I see you before the contemplation of the Untouchable One, who, in the splendidness of his eternal majesty, waits, from on high, for your word to come down, in the most surprising miracle ever to be glimpsed by the human mind…!
I see you so tiny… and clamouring with a powerful voice because of the strength that the sacred anointment gave to your word, capable of opening the Sancta Sanctorum of the Trinity, drawing the veil of the Temple asking Him to pronounce his Word for you, achieving, through your word, as a new mystery of the Incarnation…!
What are you, poor little man…? Oh, priest of Christ…! Alas…! Alas my son! Poor little thing…!
I am weeping overwhelmed, out of respect, love and fright before this terrible reality that my soul contemplates.
Oh, if I were a priest…! At this very moment I would die…! I do not know yet if, I will be able to live, after seeing it.
Alas priest of Christ, poor little thing…! Respond to Love as you can…!
Oh, priest of Christ!, respond…!, respond to the Trinity, who gives itself to you as a Gift, with the knowledge and capacity that you may have!
How little you are before the terrible terribility of the Moment of the Consecration…! […]
Oh the Holy Father…! Even the Holy Father, John XXIII, oh, how little he is before the terrible moment of the Consecration…!
Oh, my son!, respond…!, respond…! Respond to the Trinity who gives itself to you as a Gift, as you can…! Adore, love, prostrate yourself face to the ground…! […]
The adorable Trinity, bowing to the priest of the New Testament at the moment of the Consecration…! And how terrible…! How terrible…!
I am about to die from love and pain… My soul can only cry in silence.
Thank you, Love…!, thank you, Love…!, thank you, Love, because you did not make me a priest…!
Now I understand why you did not make me a priest! Now I understand…!
I do not have the grace to be a priest. That is why I feel I die before the terribility of the Great Moment of the Consecration.
Oh…! Thank you, Love, thank you…! Thank you for not having made me a priest! How well I understand Saint Francis of Assisi…!
The terrible God, of sovereign majesty, bowing… bowing…!
All the infinite majesty of the Being, bowing to the priest…! Not prostrate, no!; bowing… Not in an act of adoration, no!, but pouring Himself over him…
The whole Trinity waiting, priest of Christ, tiny one, waiting for your great word to come to you…!
The whole Trinity waiting for you to utter your word in order to pour Himself onto you in the Word. The Word of Life waiting to become Bread…!
The whole Trinity at your command, readily, obeys…!
Oh, priest, priest…! What did God do with you when he anointed you a priest…? I know that you did not give it much thought the day of your ordination.
But now I tell you: look, you are a priest of Christ…! My son, be little. For the love of God!, be little so that before your littleness, infinite Love may be pleased.
I see you so little…, so nothing…!, and you are so sublime before the Trinity’s sublime, divine and subsistent majesty…!
Respond as you can, throw yourself on the ground, worship, weep, die, if you do not know how to respond!
How terrible it is to be a priest…! Poor little thing…!
Respond, my son, being little. Throw yourself in the arms of the infinite Sanctity, adore Him. Kiss that point of the divine begetting, which is opened for you every morning at the consecration.
It is you, priest of Christ, the one called by divine call to enter this Sancta Sanctorum of the Trinity. It is you who has to get into the Trinity’s bosom and kiss that instant-instant in which the Father begets his Word for you, kissing with the Holy Spirit that very Word that comes out quickly at your words.
Come on, priest of Christ; before the terrible terribility of this great mystery, throw yourself into the arms of your Father God, and, full of trust, hope, trust in the infinite love that the Trinity has for you.
God did not make you a priest to condemn you, no; but so that you would glorify Him and to save souls through you.
You have in your hands the terrible God of sovereign majesty, and you have in your hands the salvation of mankind.
Look, listen to what I tell you: If, before your voice, the Father opens his bosom and gives you his Word in the love of the Holy Spirit, and the three divine Persons together give themselves to you unconditionally, will there be anything that you ask them that will not be granted to you?
If you exercise your priesthood making yourself little, and the very God gives Himself to you in such a way, will there be anything superior to Himself that could not be given to you?
If you do not get from God everything you ask Him for, it will be because you do not ask Him for it, or because your word is not so efficacious as the one of the consecration. If your prayer is not listened to, it is not because God does not answer your word, but because your word is not according to God.
I know that the word of the consecration is different from your word. Before that one God Himself obeys. But if God wanted to put this efficacy in your word of consecration, if you are according to his will, could not your prayer be more efficacious and your petition be better aimed…? Don’t you see that when you say: «This is my body», «This is my blood», the whole Trinity gives itself to you? Why do not you become so like Jesus, that whenever you command Heaven will obey?
If that would be so, you who read this, priest of Christ, you alone, would you not be together with Christ salvation for mankind? If truly you can say: «This is my body», «This is my blood», what will there be which you will not be able to say, priest of Christ?
Oh, now I understand why I cannot be a priest! Perhaps if I had been a priest, at the Moment of the Consecration, when receiving this light that I had today, I would have died. Perhaps, for that reason, God did not make me a priest.
I find within me a terrible impossibility to be a priest, after knowing the great mystery of the consecration. For that reason I cannot tell you anymore: if I were a priest…! Because I see that, from now on, there is in me an impossibility provided by the terrible knowledge of the priestly dignity. But to you, priest of Christ, son of my soul-Church, I, together with Mary Immaculate, the priests’ Mother, I say : Live your priesthood, place yourself in your Great Moment, give thanks for this inexpressible, inexplicable, incomprehensible and unimaginable, privilege of the priesthood.
Priest of Christ, I see you so little in the presence of the Trinity…! And I venerate you, and I ask you to implore for me to the very Trinity. The knowledge I had today has been so strong, that from now on in my prayer of a little daughter of the Church I will always be putting your priestly soul in front so that the Father may give me the divine Word. It’s you my little priest, the one who has to give me the Word of Life.
Oh, priest, priest…!, try to be little so that you may appear before the Father, held by, leaned on and fused with the eternal Priest. And thus, with confidence, say your word of consecration and respond to the Gift which God is to your soul in that instant; respond unconditionally, give yourself totally. Come on, in silence, adore, tell Him «yes» and also give yourself to Him as a host with your Host, so that something like a transubstantiation may come about in you, and you may be Christ for God’s glory and the salvation of all souls.
Priest… Mediator… You are in the Great Moment of your life! You are between heaven and earth transubstantiating your host! Exercise your priesthood…! Be a propitious bridge between God and men! And may your prayer be so pleasing, so acceptable to God, that no grace, gift, or wish, before you, would remain unfulfilled.
Let it be you because of your priesthood the one who catches divine Love, and the one who appears before Him on behalf of all your brothers, so that, by means of you, everybody may receive the salvation that through you God wants to communicate, through this Great Moment, to all men.
Look, priest of Christ, as I have already told you: when you say your word the Father’s bosom opens up before the surprise also of all the blessed ones, and God becomes Bread. And you what do you say?, what is your response to this donation of Love to your command? What do you reciprocate to the infinite Gift who is God before you? How do you respond to this Gift that is given to you so unconditionally? Which one is your gift before the Gift of God made Man, of God made Bread through your word? What word are you to Him? What do you tell Him? How do you give yourself?
Oh, priest of Christ, if I would have been a priest and at some moment I could have lived this Great Moment that you live now…! I know there is no gift for such a gift; but look at what answer the Trinity has to your word… How do you answer to his when He asks you for all your soul as a gift to his Gift?
Perhaps some day you might have done something out of routine of this Great Moment. And, don’t you cry all your life long? Do you think that it is just one moment that has already passed? Don’t you know that each one of the moments of your Mass, and particularly the one of the consecration, will be the ones presented before you on the day of Judgment?
I know that, if I would have been a priest, perhaps I would have done it the same as you, and even worse. But, perhaps for not having that great fortune, nor having received that immense grace, I appreciate more this gift of the priesthood which Love so freely gave to your soul.
But listen, even though you see yourself little and you are afraid, even though you do not know how to behave with your Host, nor how to respond to such a great Gift, even if you only feel like crying for my song to this Great Moment, do not distrust, because of the little ones is the Kingdom of Heaven. Throw yourself into the arms of Love, since, though you have the great dignity of being a priest, you are a creature and little.
For that reason, trust the love of The Good, the One Who made you a priest, not to condemn you, but to entrust to you his secret so that you would be He through transformation, so that you would throw yourself into his arms and, before the great mystery of this predilection towards your soul and the lack of capacity to respond to such a great gift, you would throw yourself as the little one into the bosom of his father, and there you would cry out of gratefulness and love, for the incomprehensible grace of your priesthood, and you could be able to approach the altar of God with happiness and joy, offering yourself and offering to the infinite Holiness in the Per Ipsum; and leaning on that same Sanctity, give to God, «through Him, with Him, in Him», «all honour and glory».
If you are little you do not have to be afraid. And if you are big headed, it is urgent that you make yourself little, because if you are unaware of the great moment of your Mass, as you are little, it is up to God your Father to take care of you and prepare you for that great moment.
But if you are a priest and not even little, and you approach the altar of God inattentive, without preparing yourself, after so many Masses!, what will you do on the day of Judgment? Because the little ones will be judged according to love; but if you had to be judged for your works…
Try to be little, and if you achieve this, do not worry any more, because the little ones trust implicitly their parents’ love.
The Great Moment of the Consecration has passed and, with it, the great moment of your life. But still within the Mass there are other great moments which you have to attend to.
Here I also feel real envy! You already know, priest of Christ, my son and father of my soul, that my only joy consists in giving glory to God. Because of that, do you allow me, together with you, united to your Mass, in your Per Ipsum, that I may give glory to the Father, glory to the Son and glory to the Holy Spirit? Although I cannot be a priest, God made me a priestly virgin, mother-Church, and I need, together with all my children-souls, to give to God all honour and glory, united to you, priest of Christ.
It is the moment of the glorious song of the Mass, it is the moment to give glory to God; and you, «through Him, with Him, in Him», give all honour and glory.
Let me, united to you, also give my God all honour and glory. I know that I do it in my Mass; but, after having known the terrible dignity of your priesthood, I need to celebrate my Mass backed by you and united to you. And seeing myself so little and with such a terrible need, so urgent and so almost infinite to give glory to my Three, I implore your favour to fill this need which floods my soul.
It is now that you can give God the glory He expects from your priestly soul, how do you respond?
It is necessary that you rejoice in the infinite glory of the eternal Lover, responding to his Gift with your happiness for his joy. Rejoice for the fact that He is happy, be happy for the fact that He is blissful, and then your whole soul, as though in a triumphal jubilation, will exclaim with the eternal Priest, «through Him, with Him, in Him», giving God all honour, praise and glory.
It is the moment to respond to The Love giving Him glory for his immense majesty. Tell Him now what perhaps at the moment of the Consecration, being such a terrible instant, you did not know how to. Tell Him how the whole of you wants to be a praise to his glory, an answer to his gift.
Live this instant of God’s glorification with the greatest intensity of which you are capable, rejoicing in that God is God. Forget about yourself and be happy with the blessed ones in the happiness of God, giving Him all honour and glory being grateful that He be Who He Is. Make an act of pure love which rejoices for God being Who He Is. Love Him through Him, in Him, without you, so that He may be glorified. Do not let this moment pass without giving God the glory He expects from you from all eternity, and allow me to join you, to relieve this immense need which burns me to give glory to God.
And thus, with the soul full of gratefulness, jubilation and being overwhelmed, intone the Our Father, preparing yourself for the terrible instant of the consummation of the Sacrifice.
Invoke your Father who is in heaven, with all the love of your soul being little; beg pardon for all your miseries and forgive all those who offended you. And so, burning with divine Love, under your unworthiness, receive that Bread of Life which from all eternity, loving you with infinite predilection, He chose you so that you yourself could eat the Host which, as a priest, you consecrated.
The Word of Life palpitates in terrible need to get within you, to enter your soul. And you are inattentive and inactive…? Look, it is the Word of Life, the One you brought forth from the bosom of the Trinity at the Great Moment of the Consecration, the One Who is waiting for you to eat Him and in that way the Sacrifice of the altar may be consummated, a live reproduction of the one bloody Sacrifice of the cross!
The Mass is about to end and God is now also waiting. He is expecting you to eat your Host in order to consummate the Sacrifice! It is you, priest of the New Testament, the one who began this great act, and the one who has to crown it.
Truly you can say with Christ: «All is accomplished». «I have accomplished the work that You gave me to do». Now, eternal Father, if you wish, you can take me to You. «Into your hands I commend my spirit». Do with your servant according to your will, and in the face of my unworthiness, overwhelmed and prostrate because of your infinite loftiness, I adore and beg you to have pity on my misery, and, leaning on your bosom, you may take me to You whenever it may please you to take your servant’s soul. With my Mass «all is accomplished».
That is why, every day, when receiving Him in Holy Communion, place your spirit in the hands of God, as the immaculate Victim has been immolated by you and you should be consummated in Him and by Him.
Now, priest of Christ, how are you to respond to Love? What have you to tell the infinite Victim, who is hidden in your chest? How should your response be at the end of the Sacrifice?
I consider myself too little to tell you what you should do. After everything I have said, my soul is in expectation, venerating you in thanksgiving. And when venerating you, my veneration is double, because in you, and through you, by means of you, for being a priest, I can adore God made Man, God made Bread, within your soul.
Give yourself unconditionally to Love, love Him as you never loved Him. Let your Mass be every day the beginning and the end of your life. Do not make a routine of this terrible Moment, which the Immense One gives you every day as a gift for his glorification, your sanctification and that of all the souls.
Come on, priest of Christ, with your Host within you, prepare the Host that you consecrated for me; because I also want to consummate my sacrifice eating my Victim. And, even though you wish to tell many things to Love, think that my enamoured soul is waiting for you to give me that Bread of Life. I have also celebrated my Mass with you, since, as I am so little, I could not have the dignity of being a priest. I am also a priestly mother who awaits, like Mary in the Cenacle, Holy Communion from the hands of the Apostles.
The whole Mass has been for you a dialogue of love. First of self giving, then of mystery and donation on the part of God and on your soul; you have given God the glory which your soul needed and, at last, you ate your Host. And now go, do not delay, give me my Host, the one you consecrated for me because you are a priest!, that Host which was transubstantiated so that I, through you, could also receive God. Come on, do not delay, give me my Host with all the care, respect and love which God demands from you when distributing it.
You see, you are the one in command…! Let us see what you do with your Host and with mine…! I need to eat God in order to consummate my sacrifice, and I am waiting for your hand of father and shepherd to place it into my mouth. It is you who gives me the divine Life in my Host, who makes me happy.
Oh, priest of the New Testament! If the grace of being a priest would have come upon me, in this very day, how would I have celebrated my Mass…!
Perhaps I would have been able to celebrate only one in my life, due to the terrible knowledge I have had of the Great Mystery of the Consecration.
That is why I ask you to listen to this poor song which this unworthy daughter of the Church sings to your soul: respond to Love with your total gift. Do not look at yourself. Try to live on Christ, and be little so that you may be judged according to love.
Mother Trinidad de la Santa Madre Iglesia
An extract from Booklet No. 6 – Collection: “Light in the night. The mystery of Faith given with loving wisdom.”
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